The person who CARES the least controls the relationship

Posted by Gediminas Grinevicius on Tuesday, July 14, 2020 Under: Personal Development

I want to talk about relationships and how does that affect your business building. The title of this blog, the person who cares the least controls the relationship.

And it is very true and many people have found it to be true in personal relationships, but I'm not going to talk about that today. Even though that's very true, you can read up about that. So if you having troubles in your personal relationships, might be something to look in to. But the same rule applies in your business building too.

The person who cares the least, controls the relationship. When you're prospecting somebody, when you're prospecting a potential client, or you're prospecting a potential business partner, who cares more about them joining. Now, I know for a very long time when I first started in network marketing, I used to care like 10 times more than that person about them joining the business, you get what I'm saying. So I would be like, “Oh my gosh, it would be so amazing. If Steven joins my team, it would be incredible.”

And the person is like, “Ah, whatever.” And because they care the least, guess who was in control of that situation? Who was in control of that energy? Of course, that person. My prospect, my potential clients, or my potential business partner was always in control of the relationship. And I was the one begging, I was the one desperate. I was the one like, “Oh, it stars in my eyes, please, please, please join my team.”

I know it's easier said than done, but until you shift that, until you shift that where you don't care, I know it sounds horrible, but you should not care more about the person joining your business than they care about making their life better and making more money. If you care more about them joining your business because you will benefit by them joining your business, then they care about joining your business and making extra income and making their dreams come true. If you care more, you will most likely come across as desperate. You will most likely come across as begging, you will most likely lose in that relationship battle, in that ego battle, in that energy battle, because that person will feel much higher, because they care less than you do.

I know especially when you're first getting started in business, well, sometimes even long after the first you got started, we all want our team to grow. We all want to recruit people, we all want to bring more people in the business. And when we care so much about that person joining, it becomes even harder. So I know it's easy to say that, it's not so easy to be chilled out. It's not so easy to be so neutral, where you go, “Hey, would you be open to take a look at an opportunity to make extra income Nicola? If you're not open, totally cool.” Or if you're talking to somebody in a person to person and a conversation turns that way where they go, “Oh, what do you do for a living?”

Well, you just go, “I help people make extra income from home. What do you do?” And you're not like, “Oh, let me give you the presentation. And let me tell you how amazing our company is and our products are so wonderful.” You already lost it, you already lost that energy. And it doesn't mean that you will not recruit people when you do that verbal diarrhoea thing, but you will be in a lower position than you would be if you are neutral, if you act as if you don't really care if they join or not.

If they join, it's awesome. It's not that you don't care, but you don't care more than they do care. And that's where questions help a lot. So when you’re interviewing your potential client, or you're interviewing your potential business partner, you should be asking more questions and they should be doing more talking. If you prospect somebody and they go, “Yeah, I would be open.” Instead of going, “Oh, how wonderful it is.” You should go, “Cool. Why right now are you looking for extra income? Why right now are you open? What changed in your life? What made you look for an extra income?” And now they're explaining to you why they want to join your business.

Now they're justifying why they want to become part of your team. It's such a powerful move. It's such a different posture then, instead of you being the desperate one, now, you are the CEO of your business and you're doing an interview, you making a decision whether to let them join your team or not. And I know it's not easy. I didn't do it for a very long time in business. I didn't used to do it. I would go, “Please join my team.”

After I made that shift, the amount of people I recruit reduced, yes, it reduced. But the quality of people that come into my business started increasing, because instead of just recruiting anybody, instead of just begging them to join and then they don't do anything in the business, I started recruiting less people, but only the ones who actually want to do something. Only the ones who actually want to make more money and want to change the life. The energy changed. I was not dancing for them anymore. I was not begging them anymore. I was like, “Hey, cool. If you want to do this thing, awesome, if you don't, no problem at all.”

And then the person feels that you're not scared of losing them. You're not scared, and in some extreme cases, you'll even have people who will, when you're prospecting them, or they will reach out to you and they'll say, “Well, why should I join your team, Becky?” And the temptation is, “Oh, because it's such a wonderful sponsor and I'll do this for you and I'll do that for you.” And now you're desperate and now you're begging. Now you lost it.

What you should do in that situation, you just say, “Hey, maybe you should, maybe you shouldn't. This is what I do and this is what I don't do. If you have a better option, go that way. But if you like what you're hearing here, then join my team, but I'm okay either way.” And now that person goes, “They're not asking for me. They're not begging, they must be doing really well if they're not desperate for me to join the team.”

Because what they have seen other network marketers do. “Oh yeah, it'll be amazing. Oh, yeah, please, please join. Oh, it's good.” And when you don't do that, they go, “That's different. They seem to be confident. They seem to know what they're doing. They seem to have this all together. Actually now I want them. Now I want to join the team.” It's like the cat in the string. If you keep moving the string, the cat will be playing with it all day long.

Drop the string on the floor, they'll go, “Ah.” And walk away. That’s the same way how you’re positioning yourself when he you are building your business, when you are introducing people into the business. Energy is everything. Posture is everything. I'm telling you, if you change your posture, if you change your energy, it will change your results.

That’s my training and tip for you. Hope you got value some value in this blog post, if you did, feel free to share it with other people. If you would like more amazing trainings check out “Network Marketing Success Training” group There are 10 amazing lessons in this training course that will help you get the breakthrough in your business!

Yours in success


In : Personal Development 

Tags: don't show desperation in business 
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