I wanted to talk about something that I learned from the good old Wayne Dyer rest
in peace. I was just re-listening to his book, How to be a no limits person.
And he reminded me of this concept and I really wanted to share it with you
today. I hope you'll find it useful. What is this IDF trap?
This is a way how people keep themselves unhappy. How people keep themselves sad and miserable all the time. It consists of three parts as is in three letters. The first letter I stands for idealizing. A lot of people live this idealizing life and what does that mean? They're never happy because their happiness always relies on something in the future. When I start making more money in my job, then I'm going to be happy. When kids go to school, then is going to be better.
Well, when kids leave home, then for sure, well, when I retire just in 10 years, then life will be better. When this happen, when the politics change, then I'll be happy, and constantly, they putting the goalpost further and further and further away from themselves, and they basing their life on something happening in the future. They’re living that they're not present in the moment, they're not living here now, they're not enjoying this here and now, they're not focusing on here and now because they're always focusing on something happening, when this happens, then will my life will be better, when this happens, then I will be happier. When that happens, when I get married, then my life will be better. When I get divorced, then my life will be better. When this happens, then this -- and it's just a never ending.
And because of that, then they get to stage two, which is F, which stands for frustration. Because imagine living your life when you're never happy. Because by the time you get there, like even if you said, if your happiness depends on this goal, like when I hit this income level, when I make this amount of money, then I'm going to be happy. And then guess what happens as soon as you hit that income level. You go, “Well, when I hit that, that's what I'm going to be doing.”
And they keep moving the goalposts, they keep moving the goalposts in this way, they’re never happened because of it, they get to the second stage, which is frustration, of never having any fulfilment in their life, because they always focus away, always focus on to the future, not on right now. And it's like, it's psychology of more, like, when I make more money, then I'll be happier. When I have a wife, then I'll be happier.
Well, when I have another wife, then I'm going to be happier. There's always like, it has to be more in order for me to be happy, in order for me to be satisfied, and it can never end. There’s no limit, there's always can be more. The person actually never then focuses on here and now and becomes happy and experiences the moment.
Japanese have this word called muga M-U-G-A, and it basically stands for being completely absorbed in here and now, being completely absorbed in the moment and enjoying it. When the Japanese have tea, the point of having the tea is just to focus on the tea, not for anything else, just to be absorbed by this process of drinking this tea, and to be happy and grateful and fulfilled and enjoy the moment. How many people enjoy the moment in Western society, in Western culture? They never enjoy the moment because like, “I need that other car, I need another house.
Well, I need to build an extension then I will be happy. Well, I need to buy this new car, then I'll be satisfied.” And it's just like never ending, just being happy, just being grateful with what you've got already. That's the second stage. First stage I is idealizing. Second stage F is frustration.
And then the third stage D is demoralization. Because of this constant being frustrated and frustrated and frustrated and frustrated, the person becomes demoralized, they lose the motivation. They lose willingness to do something and because of that, because of being this depressed, what do they do? They set themselves another goal in the future. “Well, I'm depressed now. I'm demoralized now, but when I get that Porsche, I'm going to be happy again.”
And the cycle starts over and over and over and over. So what's the solution? Well, the solution is, you might say, “Well, that means we shouldn't have goals. We shouldn't strive for anything. We shouldn't dream about it.” No, that's not what I'm saying. It's great, you have goals. It's great to have ambitions and vision and mission. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, enjoy the journey of getting there. You see, most people miss the point. They say, “Well, when I hit that rank in my business, when I hit that income in my business, when I hit that level, I'll be happy. But now it's shit. Now, it sucks.”
No, the whole reason for you to do the home based business, the whole reason for you to work for yourself, the whole reason for you to build your empire network marketing is so that you can enjoy the every day. You can enjoy the journey. You can enjoy that messaging exchange on Facebook with somebody, you can enjoy the phone conversation with somebody, you can enjoy meeting somebody for a cup of coffee and discussing ideas and bouncing off opportunity and talking about it and brainstorming. Is for you to enjoy the thrill of, “Yes, I've got one, I recruited this one, damn it, I missed this one.
This one got away from me. I didn't recruit this one.” It's like fishing, you don't catch every fish, some get away from you, some you catch but it's exciting nevertheless, same in business, you should be enjoying the process of doing it, you should be enjoying the building of it, not just when it's already built. That should be the journey. Enjoying seeing your kids every day, not just when they grow up or whatever. Like enjoying the everyday, enjoying the moment, enjoying the journey of it.
Find ways how to enjoy it, find ways how to have fun with this, like we have this ad here in UK, about gambling and it says, “Stop gambling when it's not fun anymore.” So why would you keep doing your business if it's not fun anymore. So make it fun, make it exciting, make it playful, make it enjoyable, so that you would jump out of bed in the morning with excitement to go and do your business, to go and introduce other people to this thing, to go and show that product to people.
That's what it's all about. It's about you enjoying the journey and having fun with it because what fun is it to live all of your life and at the end of your life when you 60, 70, 80, 90 years old, to say, “Oh my gosh, my whole life was just pain. It was just the hard work.” That won't be fun. Enjoy the journey.
That’s my training and tip for you. Hope you got value some value in this blog post, if you did, feel free to share it with other people. If you would like more amazing trainings check out “Network Marketing Success Training” group http://titaniumsuccess.co.uk/successtraining.php. There are 10 amazing lessons in this training course that will help you get the breakthrough in your business!
Yours in success
In : Personal Development
Tags: idealizing demoralization and frustration